Am I a bad mama?

 That's a question that pops into every mama's head. No matter the circumstances at least once you ask yourself is you are doing a good job or not.

I have a joke. If he picked me to be his mama that means I can screw him better than anyone on the planet. 

Jokes aside, I started my yoga teacher training when my baby was 6 months old. My body was not healed and my heart was not ready. 

My trainings are once a month for 3 full days. Meanwhile I have to go to weekly classes, I have daily practice, daily readings, weekly homework and I also have to start teaching to get experience. That takes a lot of time. Let's say that if you do it right it is a part time job. While a baby... a small baby is a full time job.

Sometimes... ok every time... I return from my 3 days training my kid does not even want to go into my arms. Auci. That hurts. So yeah. I ask myself everytime if I am a bad mama. 

I have all rational reasons why doing this makes me a good mother. Makes me an example for him that in life you must do what your heart wants to do. To follow your dreams is ok. To work hard for the things you want is ok. 

But still I can't shake that feeling. Doing something for me makes me a bad mama. I don't know if it is because I feel like I am missing on the sweetest moments or because I genuinely think is hurting him to be without me an hour a day and 3 days a month. 

I can't shake that feeling that I am supposed to be enjoying his childhood more than doing anything. I can't shake that feeling that I am selfish if my attention is even for one second on anything else. 

Hey you all mamas out there! What do we do about these feelings that we are wrong if we continue living our lives?!

Let's join hands in a prayer pose and say thanks for everything we are and for everything we do. Let's join our forces in gratitude that we are so strong. Let's give thanks for living with doubt in our hearts and a smile on our face.

                                                                 We are true warriors!